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Terren Gets Lighter
- Oct. 25, 2001
Soon after being
divorced, graduated, and roughly betrayed in a
way previously unknown to me -- although, to hear
it, not undone by me -- I am in Hyde Park, Chicago,
getting ready to start my first Librarian Job.
The contrast is not yet sharp, although that might
make better reading. I have spent the last two
and a half months sleeping on various people's
couches, hotel beds, "rec-room" air mattresses,
and on top of layers of blankets laid on the hard
bare floor. I shipped all my belongings to New
York, except a suitcase and a variety of random
items distinguished only by their abilities to
be crammed into my car and be recognized as "useful"
to one or more of my neuroses. For instance, I
shipped all my towels and kept a lamp in the car,
because you apparently never know when the person
with whom you are crashing will suddenly break
every single lamp she owns.
As I write this,
I'm in the home of one of my new coworkers. Last
night I slept on her couch. The night before that,
hotel room. Night before that, different hotel
room (different city). And no, I wasn't paying
for the hotel rooms, because I didn't have a job.
Before that, Joan's house -- for a total of a
month. Before that, the attic playroom of a friend's
playmate. Before that, Marya's house, on a mattress
she picked up from next to the dumpster. I warned
her not to do that, but I'm not above sleeping
on it if the other choice is the fat orange chair.
I've spent almost
three months with no real home, no center, no
address, no mail. No phone machine. A suitcase
of clothes and only one pair of flip-flops to
finish out the summer. Dragging my poor cat around.
And yet, most of the time, I've been happy. Those
who know me will be trying to understand how I'm
getting along without all my clothes, my jewelry,
my paraphernalia, my tchotchkes, my chazzerei,
let alone a sense of groundedness, permanency,
solvency, and et cetera. Fine! I sold $300 worth
of books. I made $400 at a tag sale. I gave away
carloads, at least three, to Goodwill (and not
Salvation Army, because they are evil). I've been
happy because I am loved.
And more about
love later
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